me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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