I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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