Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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