He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
