So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
