She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
