she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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