It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
