We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
