So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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