you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
