the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
