everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
