He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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