Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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