3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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