Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
