I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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