I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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