We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
