My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
