A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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