I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
