I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
