Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
