I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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