i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
