she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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