she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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