she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
