Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
