his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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