Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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