I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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