i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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