I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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