there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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