who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
