Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
