marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
