loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
