no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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