in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
