I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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