Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
