it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
