I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
