do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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