: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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