Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
