mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i now understand why vodka
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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