So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
