we're blogging at a bar
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
