I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
