there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
